Divorce brings big changes for everyone! Even more so when kids are involved. Questions about custody, living arrangements, and schedules often feel overwhelming. We’re here to support you and share an overview of what to expect.
Custody and support – What you need to decide
When it comes to kids, divorce boils down to two key issues – custody and support.
Child Custody – Who will care for the kids and make decisions about their lives? Custody can be shared (joint custody) or individual (sole custody). Parents (or courts) will need to determine who has “physical custody” and who has “legal custody.” Decisions here impact everything from schooling to healthcare.
There’s a ton to unpack →💡 READ THIS 💡 for the full scoop on all things custody.
Child Support – Who will cover financial and logistical needs? Child support ensures kids’ basic needs—like housing, food, and education—are met. This is determined based on income, custody arrangements, and state laws.
Managing 2 homes and 2 schedules
Balancing two households is tough, but doable. Keep these in mind for smoother sailing –
Consistency is key. Everything your kids have known is changing around them. Whenever possible give them consistency in their life. Stick to routines for meals, bedtimes, and activities. Familiar schedules help kids feel secure.
Prioritize stability. Ensure both homes feel like home. Stocking essentials, creating coziness and safety, creating rituals – all will encourage a sense of belonging in both places.
Consistent communication. We know, this can be so hard to stomach, especially if lack of good communication is part of why you are divorcing.
If you have kids, you can’t avoid it. As much as possible, focus on open and constant communication with your co-parent about the kids’ schedules, needs, and milestones. Show up as a team on your kids’ behalf for the important events – holidays, graduations, recitals, and sporting events.
Focus on quality time. Your kids’ world was once anchored by the love and security of married parents. Now that that has changed, life suddenly feels uncertain. They may be anxious, scared, angry, disregulated, or overwhelmed.
Create space for extra quality time together – whatever you and your child do to feel connected and balanced. We promise, there is no such thing as too much quality time! Give your kids the reassurance they need with more of your uninterrupted time, love, and attention.
What kids need most
Kids need more than physical supports (a house, clothing, food) —they need emotional stability. They need to be reminded that no matter what happens to the structure of their family unit, they are loved and safe. We’ve got a few tips to share 👇
✅ Remind them often that they are loved and safe.
✅ Give them the freedom to love both parents. Encourage their bond with the other parent without guilt or conflict.
✅ Reassure them that they are strong and everything will be okay, even when everything is changing.
More resources to check out
How To Talk To Your Kids About Divorce
Your Essential Guide To Child Custody
Modifying Custody & Support Orders
Divorce is a challenge. AND. You will create a new normal that feels secure and loving for your kids. 💛