Co-parenting after divorce is all about working together to raise your kids, even though you’re no longer together. To make this work, it’s important to keep things civil and focus on what’s best for your children. 📣 Learn how here! 👇 👇
What is co-parenting?
Co-parenting is when both parents share custody and make joint decisions about their child’s upbringing. It’s all about working together, creating stability, and ensuring the child has a strong relationship with both parents. If you and your ex can communicate well and keep things flexible, this could be a great option. Successful co-parenting involves:
- Encouraging your child to bond with you and your ex
- Sharing parenting responsibilities
- Ensuring both you and your ex have a say in key decisions
Co-parenting works best when parents can compromise, stay patient, and communicate regularly. You focus your energy on putting the kids first and getting on the same page.
Benefits of coparenting
- Consistent schedule, routines, and rules (consistency helps all kids feel safe – even the big kids!)
- Reduced stress for your child (because they won’t feel like they have to pick sides)
- Better communication between parents
- Lower levels of conflict for your child
- A stronger, positive relationship with both parents
What is parallel parenting?
Parallel parenting is a method where each parent does their own thing when it comes to raising the kids. Instead of working together closely, both parents handle their own parenting duties during their time with the children. They don’t attend the same events, appointments, or activities.
Parallel parenting is an alternative for parents who can’t communicate without conflict. Communication is kept minimal—usually through email, text, or a co-parenting app— and the focus stays on the kids, not on any lingering conflict.
Benefits of parallel parenting
Parallel parenting works for families where there’s ongoing tension. It helps to minimize contact between parents so they can focus their energy on the kids and provides other benefits:
- Less stress and conflict for everyone
- Permission for each parent to focus on their own parenting style and strengths
- Reduced exposure to conflict for the child
- More time and space to heal post-divorce
Which one is right for you?
That is the question! And we wish we could give you the magic answer. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to the question of parallel parenting v co-parenting. Only you know what’s best for your family. We do know that whether it’s co-parenting or parallel parenting, the goal is the same: providing a stable, loving environment for your child.
A few tips to get you started → Ask yourself:
- How much contact do I want with my ex?
- Am I equipped (physically, emotionally, or psychologically) to continue interacting with this person regularly?
- Can we agree on parenting methods?
- Can we communicate well? If not, can we agree to get professional help?
- What will reduce tension and stress for everyone?
Talk to your lawyer, therapist, mediator, and trusted friends and family. Stay connected with planHER collaborative and lean on our network of education and resources. And above all, listen to your gut – You know what works and what doesn’t.
Whatever path you choose, you’re the expert on your own family, and you’ve got this! 💪