Divorce is tough. Divorce is complex. And divorcing while still living together is even harder.
Imagine this – you’ve decided you want a divorce, or your spouse has informed you they want out. Yet, neither of you wants to leave the marital home (or can leave.) You are in the gray area of cohabitating in divorce. Maybe you’re unsure where to go until the divorce is finalized, or you don’t want to disrupt your kids, or maybe your lawyer advised against leaving to protect your claim to the house.
✅ We’re sharing 3 essential tips that we promise they will make life better! 👇
Establish boundaries
When we say “establish boundaries” what we mean is you need new boundaries in divorce. You now need to create your new rules of engagement.
Physical boundaries. Decide where each of you will sleep, eat, and relax. Can one of you take a room on another floor? Can you use different doors? It’s important to create your own space as you begin living separate lives and navigate the emotional and complex process of divorce.
Financial boundaries. When you were married, life followed a certain routine. Now that you’re not, it’s time to reassess your finances. Make a plan for managing your money. Clearly outline where money goes, who is responsible for payments, and how expenses will be handled. Clarity is crucial.
Parenting boundaries. Figure out how you’ll share parenting duties. Set up clear and consistent schedules. (Trust us, it helps everyone, especially the kids!) Decide who handles daily routines, school drop-offs and pick-ups, and weekend activities. You’ll be co-parenting for a long time, so start off right!
Prioritize peace
Remember, you once loved and trusted your partner. Even if you don’t want to stay married, it doesn’t make them a villain.
✅ Choose respect, especially in front of your kids.
✅ Focus on trust, keep your promises, and be honest. A more peaceful home makes the process easier for everyone.
✅ Minimize contact. Set clear boundaries and stick to them (see #1 above!) Be kind and concise in your interactions.
Get the support you need
We can’t say this enough – support yourself! This is an extremely challenging time in your life. To your body and lizard brain, you are in a fight-or-flight response. Here’s how to get started 👇
💡 Work with a divorce coach or divorce doula. They offer powerful, non-judgmental support, help you set expectations, improve communication skills, and develop coping strategies for stress.
💡 Lean on friends and family for support. Find your people and ask for what you need – a meal, a shoulder to cry on, or a place to vent. It’s okay to ask for help. You don’t have to do this alone.
💡 Focus on the basics: sleep, food, water, and exercise. Prioritize sleep—it’s essential. If you’re struggling, talk to your doctor. Stay hydrated, eat healthy, and keep moving. Whether it’s 10 minutes of stretching, a walk around the block, or a workout, find what works for you. It helps your body recharge and keeps you going!
🔥 You. Can. Do. This. 🔥
